SS2 is coming home tonight!
This morning BM called, sick voice and all, wanting to make sure that we didn't "misunderstand" her message the other day, that they were trying to get a lawyer for her dad, not for her. Gee, wonder what would make us think that? Maybe the nasty message she left us? And her dad's lawyer was going to get her an "excuse" note from the courts to not send SS2 home on time? Reality just changed folks before your very eyes.
Then she says that because of the hurricane coming, and because SS2 wants to see his friends, she wants to get him out early. Apparently that is what it takes to get her to think about her child - a hurricane stronger than herself.
So we emailed her at her parents with the first non-stop flight information for tonight, and said we weren't booking it until she responded via email confirming that he would be on the flight. This is her response:
Yes! that is fine. I will have SS2 at the airport at that time. Thank you for understanding about my dad. You know I would do the same if you went through this with your parents.
It is as if none of the crap she has said the last few weeks even happened. I'm glad we make her leave messages, or DH and I would think we just had nightmares everyday and that none of it really happened. How she can get from demanding that SS2 stay longer, to sending him home early is beyond me.
I'll let you guys know tomorrow if SS2 is actually back tonight! Keep your fingers crossed!
We are so ready for this summer visit to be over!
A tribute to the hurdles of the past, the pleasures of today, and the hope for the future...
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August
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- Response to BM re: Summer Chaos
- I'm Back!!!!!
- He's Back!
- You can never know...
- Such is the way of the world...
- Ramping Up
- SS2 is starting to panic...
- And the winner is...
- Rise
- Predictions for the 20th:
- I think she has finally left the planet...
- ER Dr.'s Response
- His shorts may still be blue!
- Incessant Phone Calls
- Letter to ER Dr
- Dumb and Dumber!
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4 comments:
Wow! Now there's a surprise! It does seem a little more likely that she found out she wouldn't be able to get away with screwing around about this on one side, so she has switched to the other, just to make sure that you didn't completely 'win' and get him back as previously scheduled! I don't mean to sound so 'glass half empty' about it but seems like her MO.
It's great to hear that he's coming back sooner! I can't wait for the "He's Here! post!
Mimi, I totally think you are right. Whatever spin on it that makes her feel better without having to address facts! Definitely a "win" for SS2, he's got two days less to spend in her alternate reality. Now we just have to see where his brain is about all that happened this summer. I know for the next 7 hours he's going to have to act all depressed that he is having to leave early to sooth BM's ego, but we'll see when he gets off the plane!
Oh my, that was a complete 180!
I'm sure it will be a huge sigh of relief when he actually walks off that plane! Not just for you and your husband but for SS2.
Funny, my stepson was crying, REALLY HARD, for two days prior to having to go back home to his mother this summer. He wanted to stay longer..... and I mean he WANTED to stay. His older sister told him several times, in her usual snotty tone, that "You better get the tears out now because you better act happy when you get back home to mom!" The poor thing can't even display that he misses his dad when he's with her. If he does he pays a big price.
Hope SS2 is okay!
I think she got the idea you guys weren't going to mess around this time. If you had given in you could expect more of the same.
Enjoy the reunion!
Kelly, I think any rational adult would realize, as I'm sure you do, that switching back and forth is hard for any child. There will always be torn emotions and wanting things to be different. Luckily, your stepson has a dad and stepmom that understand and don't fuel his anxiety by trying to turn it into something it is not. An irrational person would say, "oh my god, he must be being abused, that is why he is so upset" and next thing you know the child is in the middle of complete chaos.
I'm sure his sister, while coming across as showing little empathy (which if she is a teenager, just about anything out of their mouthes comes across that way), is actually trying to reach out to him. She has obviously "been there, done that" and had her butt chewed out for expressing any kind of desire to visit her dad. She has figured out what it takes to survive at her mom's house.
I think it boils down to parenting style. There are some parents who give in to every whim of their child because they can't say no, and then there are the rest of us, who understand logic and rules and right from wrong. Had BM not told us in writing that she didn't want SS1 there this summer, we would have sent him as well, even if he didn't "want" to go, because that is the right thing to do, no matter how miserable a time we know he would have had. His relationship with his mom is for him to work out with her. I think he has figured out that all he has to do is disagree with her about something and she will get mad at him and reject him, and then he can stay here. We'll see what happens at Christmas.
Just know, that by supporting your stepson through his anxiety, and letting him know the two of you aren't able to be manipulated, and instead will always provide consistent understanding, you are teaching him that emotions do not change reality, and he will have a much better time working through his emotions in the future. That security will mean a lot to him as he grows.
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