Boys will be boys...

...or one would hope. BM has managed to turn SS2 into a perpetual victim. SS2 was born with his aorta wrapped around his esophagus, which was taken care of with surgery before his first birthday. Since then, BM has referred to SS2 as having a heart condition that somehow cripples him and limits what he can do. Once DH gained custody, we took SS2 (age 5 at the time) and his medical records to his pediatrician and confirmed with the doctor that there are NO long term issues regarding his health, that the issue was taken care of, and that he does not have a heart "condition". She has continued to treat SS2 as a victim, someone that needs continuous protection, and has never allowed him to be a "boy".

She takes him to the emergency room for the sniffles and tries to prevent custody exchange by saying DH would not give him his medicine.

She calls Poison Control at midnight because his legs got red when he was soaking in Epsom Salts for his poison ivy (which was recommended to us by the doctor). Why he was taking a bath at midnight, I still don't understand.

She has a hissy if SS2 and SS1 wrestle.

She called Child Protective Services on us because we had him stacking 8 pieces of wood in the sunroom by the stove this winter and he whined to her over the phone that he didn't want to do it and would "kill himself" if he had to keep doing it. She called DH and told him we were treating him like a slave (never mind the fact that we were the ones lugging the wood from the wood pile to the house).

She has made SS2 feel that he is weak, less than normal, and someone that requires extra protection from the rest of the world. It took us years to get him to try anything a little bit challenging or risky. He now has the ambition of a couch potato, gives up if anything is the least bit difficult, and constantly makes excuses for himself.

SS1 will never have a regular rough and tumble brotherly relationship with SS2. When SS2 gets a paper cut, he whines.

I feel sad for him, more than anything, because he's missed out on a lot. He doesn't climb trees, jump his bike, play football (only two-hand touch), or goof off with his brother. Why? Because he has a "heart condition" and has been taught by BM that he is unusually fragile.

Yet SS1's learning disability, which was identified by the school, has been completely ignored by her for years.