Got SS2's medical records in the mail today. BM is so full of crap it isn't even funny. And she thinks just because she tells someone something and they write it down it is true!
This is the choking on an ice cube incident.
Dr's notes:
"His mother reports that the patient had vascular ring surgery when he was 5 months old. He lives with his father in Current State and is visiting mom for the summer. He apparently was supposed to have a formal endoscopic exam at age 10, but mother states that this did not happen. His parents are separated and there appears to be some custody issues."
Only the first two sentences here are accurate. No formal endoscopic exam was ever recommended and this issue has been discussed with his primary care physician and he stated that there was nothing that needed to be done as SS2 aged.
But really, if she was that concerned, why did she wait until he was 13 to complain about it? She has had him for several weeks each summer since then, why did she not make him an appointment?
Hello, they are divorced, not separated, and there are no custody issues. DH has physical and she does not. What is the issue?
She had the doctor perform an oropharyngoscopy and a soft tissue neck x-ray. Are you kidding me? Talk about having a child undergo unnecessary medical procedures!
"His airway was wide open, and other than some mild redness as noted above in the right hypopharynx. He had normal-appearing cords, and all the other structures were of normal appearance without evidence of any edema or airway compromise. I visualized through the cords, and this also appeared normal proximally...His symptoms seemed to be somewhat accentuated by anxiety."
"When I came into the room to perfrom the procedure, the patient had a brief episode of being upset and tearful. His mother stated that he was upset because his father told him to not go to the emergency room before he left Current State to visit his mother this summer. The nursing staff came to me at discharge and stated that his mother requested that I put this in my dictation."
Gee, do you think he might be nervous because he knows his mom is making the Dr stick something down his throat over something stupid, just so she can take jabs at DH? I find it interesting that the 13 year old did not say that DH told him not to go to the emergency room, his mother did. I'm sure SS2 was told not to talk. And she really thinks that because she had something put into the dictation that that somehow verifies it? And why would we tell him that when we know he has no choice in the matter anyway, that once she sees some avenue to disparage DH she is going to no matter what.
Now we know why SS2 called us that night to tell us about it. He knew it was wrong and what she was saying was wrong and he wanted us to find out about it. What to do now, though? Just wait until she tries to use it somehow?
Personally, I think this makes her look like a freak with an agenda, but what do you think a judge would think? I know I'm too close to this to have a rational opinion.
July 24, 2008
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6 comments:
Document, document, document. And be sure his primary care physician has records supporting the fact that he didn't require those tests. Get copies of records if possible. Do you foresee another custody dispute?
For 8 years she has constantly threatened going to "talk to the judge" or "calling the court", but has never done it. She just keeps this arsenal of "reports" of her making statements on record that have never been substantiated as if she thinks just her saying it proves her point. I almost wish she would take us to court so we can get it over with and show what she is, it is the not knowing that drives me nuts!
By the way, she still has not even informed DH that this trip to the hospital even happened. There's some good co-parenting skills!
You counteract it. You keep a journal of exactly what you wrote in this post and back it up with visit date evidence... anything that supports the reality that what your PEW is "dictating" is false.
2nd - I would be on the horn to whomever felt compelled to document the rantings of the PEW and insist that they "document" your rebuttal to the accusations. If they refuse, tell them that they will be subpoenaed for court as necessary, instead of simply having copies of their "dictation" to take as evidence of PEW's faulty recollections and outright lies.
If she's failed to report a visit to the hospital, she's likely violated the court order in her own right... don't forget to document that for a potential contempt-petition.
Always prepare yourself to defend against such false accusations. You never know when they will follow-through with a petition for contempt themselves (I went through several) and they will just go in there and mindlessly rant with the same accusations, provide no evidence, and get "an ear" willing to listen.
Unfortunately, when it's a "mom" making the accusations, you have to fear that they will be believed, even without objective evidence.
Thank you for your advice mister-m! DH has made a phone call to the surgeon that performed the vascular ring surgery and we hope for a phone call back tomorrow.
DH did call the hospital, but apparently it is impossible to speak directly to the ER doctor, they will only let you speak to a nurse, who was only able to confirm the information already on the report. He did however tip us off to the fact that BM tried to make another appointment with a Dr. but cancelled (we later found out it was because they would not see SS2 without medical records being sent.) I imagine the hospital would stonewall us unless we actually had a subpoena or something.
Unfortunately, the court order is a generic "lets get this thing over quickly and have her sign it with DH having physical custody" order and doesn't go into a whole lot of specifics - not that we would have had any idea what to be sure to put in at that point, 'cause we were still babes in the woods. But I would hope it would be reason to have the court paperwork changed to include such a clause?
If you happen to see my latest posts, you will see that she is ratcheting up to make the last 3 weeks of SS2's visit completely miserable, one challenge after another. We are hoping by the end of the summer, we will have enough to go back to court. It is just hard to know what is "enough" aside from her actually injuring SS2.
Agreed with others about staying really on top of this situation. She's "Munchausen by Proxy" in-waiting. Her fixation on the medical situation when he was a child and constant need to shine a spotlight on that non-issue has me deeply concerned.
Stay right on it.
It is ironic you bring that up, mister-m. I had responded to another blog a few weeks back regarding this topic, I posted it on mine just today (Dumb and Dumber). It seems you have read my mind!
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