She missed the deadline to offer any solutions. She left 5 messages on the 9th, each message filling up the alloted voice mail space, so she kept getting cut off and had to call back. I'd give you a verbatim, but frankly, I don't have the time or energy to transcribe over 45 minutes of ramblings. I'll bullet the major points of interest.
Mssg 1 (sick voice which turns into crying voice)
*she misunderstood about his thyroid, and only came to this realization after her father explained it to her (so glad someone in her world is paying attention)
*she has had to go through so much with her health and SS2 takes after her, so he must have health problems, so he should be tested just to find out (what a sick way to try to find common ground with your child)
Mssg 2 (sick voice)
*claims ER Dr lied in his report (yeah, like he had nothing better to do)
*said it was SS2's CHOICE to go the emergency room (who's the adult?)
*said it was SS2 that asked her not to call DH about the ER visit (funny, 'cause SS2 was the one that called us and told us about it in the wee hours of the morning)
Mssg 3 (voice coming back to normal, slight twinge of haughtiness)
*still bringing up the Spring Break issue (see previous posts for that bundle of joy)
*she lists the medications she has been on (this I gotta quote) "Look at the side effects of the medication I'm on. It causes 'roid rage, it causes psychotic episodes." (yup, she actually admitted it)
*she is no longer taking the medications, because they are obviously "causing too many problems" (again, no responsibility for her actions)
Mssg 4 (sick voice coming back, going full throttle into "feel sorry for me" mode)
*all her health issues are what caused her to "snap at SS1", "there are things, and SS2 saw it for himself, that there was unnecessary disrespect" (hell has frozen over, you mean all the things she denied ever happening really did happen?)
(she almost had me here, and then she lost it)
*neither DH or I understand what it is like to have a child grow inside of us, and they are part of her body (strange how we can understand how to relate to them and parent them, though)
*we took them away and ripped her heart out (odd how she doesn't remember fleeing the FormerHomeState with the children, which is what allowed DH to get Temp Custody in the first place, she had no problem ripping his heart out when he didn't know where they were for months!)
*it's just not fair that she has to miss out on them growing up just because of her health (she really doesn't get why she doesn't have custody of them! she really doesn't understand how HER actions led to what happened)
*she admits that we have done a good job with the boys and they are doing very well (finally, the recognition we have been living for, NOT!)
*she wants DH to stop sending her the letters by FedEx because she is off her medicine right now and she can "rationalize everything" (can't tell from these messages)
*she says the boys are part of "both of us" (so you mean DH did have a hand in creating them, they didn't spring virginally from "her body")
*it is going to be a better situation, now that she is not on her meds anymore (that is wishful thinking! she had these issues long before she became disabled and started taking her shopping list of medications)
*she's made mistakes and said things she really didn't mean (hard to tell at this point what things she means and what she doesn't)
*now she wants SS1 to come at least for a week so she can see him (you mean use as an emotional punching bag?)
Mssg 5 (very snotty voice)
*she can't imagine me having the "luxury" to go see a therapist just to deal with everyday life, and that I should have her problems to see what real problems are (hello, your actions are the only problems I need to see a therapist for)
*she wants to have a normal relationship with them, her health has come in the way, it is not her fault (the story of her life)
She really expects a free pass, as if DH is going to call her and tell her that she can do whatever she wants and treat people however she wants and we'll all give her an "excuse" note. She really thinks these messages show how she has a complete understanding of why things are the way they are, yet in fact, her comments only highlight how disjointed her reasoning is. The erratic changes in her voice, the contradictions from one minute to another, the continued fantasy that she is not responsible for anything, and yet deserves having everyone bend to her illogical thinking because she is the "mother". I used to think she was a spiteful person that spent her time thinking of ways to mess with us, and that one day she may get over it and things could be better. These messages have just confirmed for me that she does live in an alternate reality and things are never going to change. No matter what she does or says to hurt people, she will always see herself as the victim.
Who We Are
- dragonmctt, stepmom
- dh, custodial father
- ss1, 19 yrs old
- ss2, 16 yrs old
September 18, 2008
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1 comment:
Everything is someone else's fault, perpetual victim, everything justified because she is the mommy...there are so many carbon copies of this insanity strolling around, reproducing!
I hope you are able to tap into one semi-sane synapse in her head and at least work out a decent resolution.
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