Showing posts with label My Rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Rants. Show all posts
November 8, 2009
You'd think she'd learn...
Does BM really think calling the kids to swear, scream, and threaten makes them have a stronger relationship? Clueless and out of control. The boys are so over it. Will she ever understand that she is damaging her relationship with her children herself?
August 17, 2008
Such is the way of the world...
Thinking about smirking cat's comment on the "And the winner is..." post, I have felt that way a lot this weekend. DH and I are normally the most flexible, understanding people out there. Over the years, we have made many alterations in schedule to accommodate BM. And while more saintly people may say, "just pay for the flight change and be done with it", BM's behavior over this past year has finally caused us to reach a point where we can no longer find it in ourselves to extend that olive branch. There is only so much abuse one can take and still give. Or, more accurately, we feel there is only so much abuse one should have to take.
Ironically, we had several occasions this weekend to see this type of thing in play. We went to a local water park and during our trip we had some + ups and - downs...
+ DH and I helped someone jump start their car.
+ A stranger, obviously in dire need, since we were in a rural area and there wasn't a gas station for miles, bummed cigarettes off of us at the rest area.
+ We used our seasons pass coupons to feed the other 9 people in our group.
- We got 5 chairs around the wave pool for the 12 of us to share as we came and went. 4 of them had people in them and the 5th person had just gotten up to change into her suit in the bathroom right behind us. A stranger woman came over and picked up our 5th chair, and when I said to her someone is using that chair, she said in the snottiest voice ever, "There was nothing on it!" and walked away with our chair. Maybe my friend broke the first rule of water park chairs and forgot to throw a towel on her chair before she left, but if someone told me the chair was being used, I would have said, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize" and I would have put the damn chair back down. Needless to say, I was waiting, oh so patiently, for her to get up out of that chair so a "mysterious" wind could have come by and knocked her towel off the chair so I could go reclaim it, but, alas, the water park closed before the nasty stranger woman ever got up (I had fallen asleep and may have missed my opportunity!)
- We purchased one of the souvenir cups that you can refill all day for free. SS1 went to the counter to have the girl refill it. She also had another stranger's cup in her hand, same color as ours. She turns back around from the soda machine, says "oops, I don't remember which was which" and then expects SS1 to take a cup which may or may not have been his. Then when we go over to request a new cup, she at first refuses! Needless to say, we got a new cup.
- We check into the hotel, which one of the members of our group had booked (she is a travel agent) and they wanted to charge us more than what it had been reserved for - like by $40 per room. When she went to speak with the manager in the am about it, he said he would not honor her reservation rate, because that is not what they regularly charge, even though she had the reservation paperwork with her. He said that he was going to charge her the more expensive rate, to which she replied, "that is fine, I will go home and dispute the charges and you won't ever get the money", needless to say we got the discounted rate.
- We stopped at a cheese store on the way home and I went into the store next door to purchase a really cute water-colored card of eggs in a basket to frame, since our chickens just started laying. The card was $3.00 and the "artist" who owned the store refused to sell it to me because I didn't have cash, even though there was a card machine right on the counter. As a business owner I understand having to incur expenses, and frankly, I would have been willing to pay a little more for the card to cover her charge card machine costs for my transaction, but she flat out refused! Needless to say, instead of digging through my car and purse for $3.00 of change or asking one of my friends for cash, I put the card down and walked out.
DH and I have no problem being generous and helping others out. However, there are some damn nasty people in the world, and the more others encourage and tolerate their nastiness, the more nasty people are going to get. There is a fine line between taking the high road and letting yourself get walked over. We have tried the high road with BM for so long and it has only bitten us in the butt. Were she a typically generous, flexible person herself, we would surely be willing to work with her, but our high road has come to a dead end, and we aren't going to tolerate her nastiness anymore.
Ironically, we had several occasions this weekend to see this type of thing in play. We went to a local water park and during our trip we had some + ups and - downs...
+ DH and I helped someone jump start their car.
+ A stranger, obviously in dire need, since we were in a rural area and there wasn't a gas station for miles, bummed cigarettes off of us at the rest area.
+ We used our seasons pass coupons to feed the other 9 people in our group.
- We got 5 chairs around the wave pool for the 12 of us to share as we came and went. 4 of them had people in them and the 5th person had just gotten up to change into her suit in the bathroom right behind us. A stranger woman came over and picked up our 5th chair, and when I said to her someone is using that chair, she said in the snottiest voice ever, "There was nothing on it!" and walked away with our chair. Maybe my friend broke the first rule of water park chairs and forgot to throw a towel on her chair before she left, but if someone told me the chair was being used, I would have said, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize" and I would have put the damn chair back down. Needless to say, I was waiting, oh so patiently, for her to get up out of that chair so a "mysterious" wind could have come by and knocked her towel off the chair so I could go reclaim it, but, alas, the water park closed before the nasty stranger woman ever got up (I had fallen asleep and may have missed my opportunity!)
- We purchased one of the souvenir cups that you can refill all day for free. SS1 went to the counter to have the girl refill it. She also had another stranger's cup in her hand, same color as ours. She turns back around from the soda machine, says "oops, I don't remember which was which" and then expects SS1 to take a cup which may or may not have been his. Then when we go over to request a new cup, she at first refuses! Needless to say, we got a new cup.
- We check into the hotel, which one of the members of our group had booked (she is a travel agent) and they wanted to charge us more than what it had been reserved for - like by $40 per room. When she went to speak with the manager in the am about it, he said he would not honor her reservation rate, because that is not what they regularly charge, even though she had the reservation paperwork with her. He said that he was going to charge her the more expensive rate, to which she replied, "that is fine, I will go home and dispute the charges and you won't ever get the money", needless to say we got the discounted rate.
- We stopped at a cheese store on the way home and I went into the store next door to purchase a really cute water-colored card of eggs in a basket to frame, since our chickens just started laying. The card was $3.00 and the "artist" who owned the store refused to sell it to me because I didn't have cash, even though there was a card machine right on the counter. As a business owner I understand having to incur expenses, and frankly, I would have been willing to pay a little more for the card to cover her charge card machine costs for my transaction, but she flat out refused! Needless to say, instead of digging through my car and purse for $3.00 of change or asking one of my friends for cash, I put the card down and walked out.
DH and I have no problem being generous and helping others out. However, there are some damn nasty people in the world, and the more others encourage and tolerate their nastiness, the more nasty people are going to get. There is a fine line between taking the high road and letting yourself get walked over. We have tried the high road with BM for so long and it has only bitten us in the butt. Were she a typically generous, flexible person herself, we would surely be willing to work with her, but our high road has come to a dead end, and we aren't going to tolerate her nastiness anymore.
July 21, 2008
Society is Fueling the NPD/BPD Fire!
The whole cell phone issue has me thinking...
I used to think that once judges caught on to the "typical" NPD/BPD behavior, we would see less people getting away with those types of behaviors. But it has dawned on me that society as a whole is becoming more narcissistic and actually condones this type of behavior.
At the core of this theory is the trend of dependence and being better than everyone else.
It is now expected that you can be reached at all hours of the day or night via text, email, cell phone, and if you can't be, you almost have to make up excuses about the power going out or your battery dying. As a business owner, I feel technology can make us more efficient, but shouldn't our personal lives be more, um, personal?
Parents are now going on job interviews with their adult children.
And employees are interviewing employers, instead of the other way around.
Children are not allowed to fail at anything. Everyone gets an award, goals are celebrated even if not achieved, just for the fact of trying. We are training narcissistic behavior in our schools.
It is acceptable for a 30-something to still be living with their parents. And pay no rent. And take money. And then get angry if they have to follow some rules (yes, I watched People's Court today : )
The credit/housing snafu is a huge example of setting unrealistic goals - really, you think you can afford that 5 bdrm house working at McDonald's. Part-time. Sign on the dotted line.
Like taking advantage of others? Here, let the Federal and State governments help you out. You can shun all responsibility for your sexual behavior, keep popping out children and they will pay you! To sit home, on your ass. Even better, if you can get Child Protective Services involved in your dysfunctional family, they will even give you free daycare. So now, you can sit at home, on your ass, and not even have to watch the kids. And then whine to your parents about how you have no money to do anything with the kids and get Grandma and Grandpa to fund your social life, your cell phone, and vacations. Even better, don't do it all with one man, do it with several, and watch the cash come in.
You know that expression, "she thinks her shit don't stink"? There is a growing population that believes they don't even shit. And why should they?
I used to think that once judges caught on to the "typical" NPD/BPD behavior, we would see less people getting away with those types of behaviors. But it has dawned on me that society as a whole is becoming more narcissistic and actually condones this type of behavior.
At the core of this theory is the trend of dependence and being better than everyone else.
It is now expected that you can be reached at all hours of the day or night via text, email, cell phone, and if you can't be, you almost have to make up excuses about the power going out or your battery dying. As a business owner, I feel technology can make us more efficient, but shouldn't our personal lives be more, um, personal?
Parents are now going on job interviews with their adult children.
And employees are interviewing employers, instead of the other way around.
Children are not allowed to fail at anything. Everyone gets an award, goals are celebrated even if not achieved, just for the fact of trying. We are training narcissistic behavior in our schools.
It is acceptable for a 30-something to still be living with their parents. And pay no rent. And take money. And then get angry if they have to follow some rules (yes, I watched People's Court today : )
The credit/housing snafu is a huge example of setting unrealistic goals - really, you think you can afford that 5 bdrm house working at McDonald's. Part-time. Sign on the dotted line.
Like taking advantage of others? Here, let the Federal and State governments help you out. You can shun all responsibility for your sexual behavior, keep popping out children and they will pay you! To sit home, on your ass. Even better, if you can get Child Protective Services involved in your dysfunctional family, they will even give you free daycare. So now, you can sit at home, on your ass, and not even have to watch the kids. And then whine to your parents about how you have no money to do anything with the kids and get Grandma and Grandpa to fund your social life, your cell phone, and vacations. Even better, don't do it all with one man, do it with several, and watch the cash come in.
You know that expression, "she thinks her shit don't stink"? There is a growing population that believes they don't even shit. And why should they?
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