Showing posts with label Lawyers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lawyers. Show all posts
August 16, 2008
Ramping Up
So BM leaves another message after we talk to SS2 and says she's going to an attorney on Monday to get an "excuse" note from the courts so she doesn't have to send SS2 home on the 20th (now she has to help her dad fill out disability paperwork since he just got laid off and she's an expert on disability paperwork). I hope the free legal aid lawyer has a clue. FormerHomeState isn't the home state anymore and it is now her responsibility to get SS2 home, since she is choosing not to use the reservation already made for him. Her dad must be doing really bad because he took SS2 golfing yesterday and tomorrow they are going to a professional football pre-season game. Wonder what lies she is going to tell the lawyer?
March 25, 2008
Temporary Custody
At the custody hearing, worthless lawyer #1 allowed DH to be raked over the coals by the General Master. He claimed DH and BM were wearing "black hats" because she took the boys out of the state, but DH was 'legally' refusing to return them to her (whenever that was going to be convenient for her, apparently). In fact, BM had told DH when he picked them up, not to worry about enrolling them in school, it should only be for 3 or 4 weeks! Are you kidding me?
During the hearing (which BM participated in telephonically since she was still out of state)...
1) DH described the living conditions when we went to pick up the boys at her apartment (remember when we picked them up at the beginning of summer, she met us at the parking lot where she worked) which we had not seen until then. The four of them were living in a studio apartment, the boys were sleeping on a pull out couch, all of their toys were in storage (they had been there for over 6 months already) except for a few matchbox cars and a video game system. I asked to use the bathroom while I was there, and the mirror had a spiderweb of broken glass, as if someone had punched it (and if you think we think it was the fiance, you would be incorrect!)
We also found out when we received SS1's records, that she had moved his school once before she moved (so that it was easier to pick up SS2 at daycare) and then again when she moved, so he had attended 3 different schools in a span of 4 months. He was retained the year he was with her in 1st grade, and was severely behind in reading readiness skills. The 2nd school he was at began the process for considering him for evaluation for ESE (special education), but BM never continued the process at the 3rd school. We would soon find out through the school that we enrolled him in, that he qualified for speech (articulation) and language (processing issues). By third grade he was caught back up enough that he did 1/2 year of 4th grade and 1/2 year of 5th grade to get him back on track.
2) The General Master told BM that if she wanted any chance to get custody, she needed to move back to the home state. BM stated that she had put a deposit down on a house. GM told BM she should have thought about that before she moved out of state. Then BM made a big stink about the fact that DH had moved into my apartment with the boys, because he wasn't on the rental agreement - who cares???
3) BM called her boyfriend her fiance several times in the hearing, until the General Master couldn't take it anymore and asked her if she realized she was at the hearing to get a divorce (implying that she really shouldn't have a fiance yet). It went totally over her head, and she kept referring to him as her fiance! To honor his determination to be there to protect his daughter, I will refer to him in this blog as "Perpetual Fiance".
During the hearing (which BM participated in telephonically since she was still out of state)...
1) DH described the living conditions when we went to pick up the boys at her apartment (remember when we picked them up at the beginning of summer, she met us at the parking lot where she worked) which we had not seen until then. The four of them were living in a studio apartment, the boys were sleeping on a pull out couch, all of their toys were in storage (they had been there for over 6 months already) except for a few matchbox cars and a video game system. I asked to use the bathroom while I was there, and the mirror had a spiderweb of broken glass, as if someone had punched it (and if you think we think it was the fiance, you would be incorrect!)
We also found out when we received SS1's records, that she had moved his school once before she moved (so that it was easier to pick up SS2 at daycare) and then again when she moved, so he had attended 3 different schools in a span of 4 months. He was retained the year he was with her in 1st grade, and was severely behind in reading readiness skills. The 2nd school he was at began the process for considering him for evaluation for ESE (special education), but BM never continued the process at the 3rd school. We would soon find out through the school that we enrolled him in, that he qualified for speech (articulation) and language (processing issues). By third grade he was caught back up enough that he did 1/2 year of 4th grade and 1/2 year of 5th grade to get him back on track.
2) The General Master told BM that if she wanted any chance to get custody, she needed to move back to the home state. BM stated that she had put a deposit down on a house. GM told BM she should have thought about that before she moved out of state. Then BM made a big stink about the fact that DH had moved into my apartment with the boys, because he wasn't on the rental agreement - who cares???
3) BM called her boyfriend her fiance several times in the hearing, until the General Master couldn't take it anymore and asked her if she realized she was at the hearing to get a divorce (implying that she really shouldn't have a fiance yet). It went totally over her head, and she kept referring to him as her fiance! To honor his determination to be there to protect his daughter, I will refer to him in this blog as "Perpetual Fiance".
The Upper Hand
Summer draws to a close, the boys go back to BM's house on a road trip with her parents. Before we know it, she's telling DH that he has to call her parent's house, and they will call her, and then she will have the boys call DH. There's some mature parenting!
About a month later, Labor Day weekend, DH and I are on our way the eat at the restaurant we had our first official date at, and as we pull into the parking spot, he gets a phone call from BM. She's got the "sick voice" on, and tells DH that she can't care for the boys and he needs to pick them up, since her parents won't.
She asked her parents first? DH was living in the same state as them, about 40 minutes away, and her first thought is the boys should be with her parents????? I'll tell you what her first thought was - who can take them so I don't have to send them to their father! For whatever reason, her parents said no. I'd like to believe they knew deep down that the boys belonged with DH. But they have and still are paying the price for refusing to do that for her. She has held them emotionally and financially hostage ever since.
We made the 14 hour drive that night, only stopping at DH's parents' house to let them know what was going on, and had the boys back in our state, enrolled in school and filed Temporary Custody paperwork by Wednesday.
We did not know at the time that this would be the end of the custody issue, and the beginning of BM's assault on us. We also did not know that she was 5 months pregnant with Perpetual Fiance's baby. It would also be the last thing worthless lawyer #1 accomplished.
About a month later, Labor Day weekend, DH and I are on our way the eat at the restaurant we had our first official date at, and as we pull into the parking spot, he gets a phone call from BM. She's got the "sick voice" on, and tells DH that she can't care for the boys and he needs to pick them up, since her parents won't.
She asked her parents first? DH was living in the same state as them, about 40 minutes away, and her first thought is the boys should be with her parents????? I'll tell you what her first thought was - who can take them so I don't have to send them to their father! For whatever reason, her parents said no. I'd like to believe they knew deep down that the boys belonged with DH. But they have and still are paying the price for refusing to do that for her. She has held them emotionally and financially hostage ever since.
We made the 14 hour drive that night, only stopping at DH's parents' house to let them know what was going on, and had the boys back in our state, enrolled in school and filed Temporary Custody paperwork by Wednesday.
We did not know at the time that this would be the end of the custody issue, and the beginning of BM's assault on us. We also did not know that she was 5 months pregnant with Perpetual Fiance's baby. It would also be the last thing worthless lawyer #1 accomplished.
Lucky Break
DH received a phone call from a friend, who lives in the state DH and BM had moved to for a short time, and who was wondering if DH wanted to get together, since the friend had seen BM and the boys the other day (he assumed that DH had moved back with them). HUGE BREAK! We know knew their general location. She had returned to the area that they had just moved from before the separation. A frantic day of calling her parents to let them know he knew where they were, calls to the local school to see if they were enrolled, and an undying urge to drive the 14 hours to "get" them, all resulted in a phone call the next day from BM. She was graciously going to allow the boys to visit DH over the summer. Again, lawyer #1 was of no help, and told DH there was nothing to be done. DH finally procured her address and informed his lawyer that he wanted to file for divorce. Papers were served, but she defaulted. Hearing was set. The day of the hearing, she filed stating that she did not understand that she was in default. Summer visitation is arranged, with DH traveling 14 hours one way to pick the boys up, and her parents taking them back.
How Could They?
DH tried unsuccessfully to contact BM several times over the next few weeks. He would show up for his visits, but the boys would never arrive. As frustrating as this was, he was not alarmed yet, as she had been very cavalier with his time in the past, and he assumed that this was just another one of her "moods". He called her phone (at first the boys were always "out playing" when he called, eventually the phone was disconnected), he called her work (she no longer worked there), he spoke with her parents (they had no idea what was going on and didn't want to get in the middle of whatever it was-yeah, right), he contacted their school (they had been withdrawn and the secretary flat out refused to tell him what school their records had been forwarded to). By this point, panic had started to set in. Lawyer #1 was absolutely no help, and told DH to just wait until the hearing (it hadn't even been set yet, neither of them had officially filed for divorce due to monetary concerns). Apparently the Separation Agreement already signed by both parties, stating his visitation rights and restricting BM from taking the children out of state, was as valuable as a piece of used toilet paper.
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