Hell has frozen over...

...which is to be expected since it is 14 degrees outside right now!

We have not heard a peep from BM. I'm thinking it is because of the GAL. She's got to be on her best behavior to show that all the documentation we have could not possibly be about her. BM has never been able to not respond negatively to one of our letters. Do you think the judge would allow us to have a GAL assigned to us for the next 4 years? The GAL wouldn't even have to do anything, just be assigned to us, like a watch dog. Just close enough for BM to know she's watching! I would pay $500 a year for that service!

What do you know, still haven't received that letter she said she was sending agreeing to the boys flights! Thank goodness we got that temporary order - Saturday it will be 30 days before their flight. Who the heck makes holiday airline reservations that close?

Part of me is thinking that she is going to back out at the last minute, her "health" will be so bad she can't have the boys come out for Christmas. She'll get to run the boys through the "poor me" ringer, won't have to worry about anything bad happening during her visit that the GAL might hear about before the hearing, and she'll get to screw with us with the airline tickets (although I tell you what, if she does cancel, new reservations will NOT be made until she pays us the fees!).

Below are the last two letters we sent, which BM received this week:

Health Letter:

I received your phone message of November 3, 2008.

I understand your health issues are of great concern to you at this time. I am willing to help ease any stressful situations you may have to deal with in regards to the boys. Your need to manage stress due to your illness will no doubt make communicating regarding the boys’ welfare difficult for you. Any issues regarding the boys’ still need to be addressed, however. My proposed parenting plan speaks to this issue, by granting me sole-decision making responsibility. This will allow you to focus on your health and enjoy the boys’ time with you, without the additional stress of taking part in making major decisions regarding their care. If we are in agreement that this would be the best option due to your ongoing health concerns, we can both sign an agreement and I can file the agreement with the court, leaving the rest of the issues in the proposed parenting plan to be discussed at the next hearing. Please let me know if you would be agreeable to reducing your stress and managing your health this way.

SS1’s eye exam revealed that he has astigmatism, and needs a very mild prescription for reading and driving.

SS2’s consult with the orthodontist resulted in a discussion of 3 options. The first option is to do nothing regarding his overbite, as it does not affect his eating, nor does it cause him any discomfort, except for where his lower teeth touch his palate, for which he could get a retainer to prevent contact. The second option is the corrective jaw surgery. The third option is to use only orthodontics to correct the problem. Regardless, the second and third options would not be something that would happen until his jaw is close to reaching maturity and the orthodontist has a better idea of what will be happening with his front teeth, which would be in his very late teens, early adulthood. No decision will need to be made until he is around 17 years of age. SS2 will be receiving a referral to the surgeon so that the surgeon can evaluate his case and see if he is even a good candidate for the procedure.

In regards to the temporary order regarding transportation, the proposal was read to you in court, you agreed and the judge ordered it. While he may not have filed it yet, the order stands as of the date of the hearing. You are not required to respond in any way to my notification, however your lack of response in 5 days gives me the responsibility to select dates of travel. If you are now represented by legal counsel, please forward to me the contact information so my attorney can make contact.

Flight Letter:

As I have not received a written confirmation from you regarding the boys’ winter vacation flight within 5 days of your notification (November 3, 2008), per the court order of October 29, 2008, I have made the boys’ reservations.

SS2 will be flying as an unaccompanied minor (required by Midwest for children under 15 years of age). Only the person purchasing the flight can add pick-up/drop-off parent information to the reservation, so I will need you to send/fax me a copy of your current photo id that you will be using to drop SS2 off at the airport before December 20, 2008. SS2 will not be able to fly without this information included with his reservation. SS2 will have with him upon his arrival a money order/check written out to Midwest Airlines, which you will need to pay the $50 fee for SS2’s unaccompanied minor service (Midwest policy does not allow me to purchase this ahead of time).

The flight may also only be changed by the person purchasing the tickets, so if you do need me to change the flights for you for any reason, you will need to make sure that I have receipt of the funds required for the change at least 7 business days in advance of the new flight to allow the funds to clear my bank account. Another option would be for you to purchase a new ticket directly from Midwest yourself.

Please contact Midwest (414-570-7000) for information regarding security procedures, check-in/boarding passes, baggage requirements and fees for changing tickets.


The first paragraph of the health letter is designed based on a strategy in the book, "I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality" by Kreisman & Straus. The strategy is called SET and is discussed in Chapter 6 on Communicating with the Borderline. SET stands for Support, Empathy and Truth. Basically you try to smooth their feathers before you whack 'em with reality. At this point, we're willing to try anything!

I still can't believe she hasn't left a nasty message - I love the sound of silence : ) If it weren't winter, I could hear the crickets chirping!